Reflection on Me as a Writer

Reflection on Me as a Writer

            I’m halfway between a good cry and a rage fest.  This is how I’ve felt all week, but it wasn’t until just yesterday that it solidified into something recognizable.  I’d been out the entire week dashing between work and family responsibilities.  I wish I could say I accomplished all that I wanted to this week, but the only way I could even think about doing something like that is to completely shut myself away for a month so I can work on my novel and feel truly accomplished in all that I do.  I’m discovering slowly but surely that I have an upward battle to fight and I’m losing rather quickly to outside forces and the biggest one of all: absolute exhaustion after every day’s end.

            To put it shortly, I’m frustrated with my circumstances and can’t stand that there’s nothing I can do to control it.  I just want to let go of everything and distance myself from all the stress.  On Saturday, I didn’t want to come home after work; I didn’t want to be surrounded by noise, inquiries and entreaties for my time.  I just honestly wanted to be alone, outside, enjoying the fresh air and quiet breeze.  It was the most amount of peace I felt in one sitting and I wish I could have it more often. 

            But enough about my internal and external woes, here are two pictures of my main character Naomi Boudreaux from my work-in-progress novel As Fate Would Have it:

     I used Sims 3 to create her and this is about the only accomplishment I managed this week.  Perhaps as I writer I need to work at a slower pace, which will mean pushing back my intended start day to further along in July.

Does she look realistic? Please let me know in the comment's box below.

Thanks, as always for your support.

Marlena

Postponement of Blog Posts

Hey all! I'm going to be MIA until the end of this month.  I'm taking some time to focus on the prep-work for my novel.  I've been majorly stressed lately trying to post here, while also making time for prep work, which thus far has failed miserably.  So to help with the process of making time, I'll be cutting down on the posts until July, but I will post updates on my prepping progress Sunday and Wednesday.

Thanks for your support.

Marlena

Monday - 6/18/2012 (Late Post)

Words of the Day

1.      Cull – (v- used with object) Origin: 1300–50; Middle English coilen, cuilen, cullen  < Anglo-French, Old French cuillir  < Latin colligere  to gather; see collect¹ ; to choose; select; pick; to gather the choice things or parts from; to collect; gather; pluck

Link: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cull?s=t

2.      Conciliating – (v-used with object) Origin: 1540–50;  < Latin conciliātus  (past participle of conciliāre  to bring together, unite, equivalent to concili ( um ) council  + -ātus -ate¹ ; to overcome the distrust or hostility of; placate; win over: to conciliate an angry competitor; to win or gain (goodwill, regard, or favor); to make compatible; reconcile.

Link: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Conciliating?s=t

A Slice of Life

Inspiration: My frustration of being called in on Monday to cover for “a mistake.”  Enjoy! This one’s going to be a short one.

A Mistake, Huh?

7:30 A.M.

            The chiming of my alarm tore me from the depths of a restful slumber.  Light had just started filtering through the blinds, pleasant and not blinding.

            Time to work . . .

            I dismissed my alarm and that’s when I noticed the three missed calls from earlier that morning—from my boss. 

            Maybe he wants me to pick up my tips . . . It’s not like I didn’t try like four times over the weekend . . .

            I dial his number and waited, heart thumping in my chest.  Something told me this wasn’t about my tips.

            “Hello.” 

            Oh boy . . . not a pleasant greeting.

            “Good morning, Adrian.  You called me?”

            “Yeah, Malina.  Are you coming in today?”

            Wait . . . What?

            “I don’t work today.  I double-checked with you last Friday and you told me that I was back to my regular schedule.”

            “No, Malina . . .”

            The rest was a garbled mess; his reception was terrible, but there was one word I held onto: mistake.  Ha! It sure as hell wasn’t a mistake on my part.  I did the right thing, but he did not and I knew instantly why I was coming in.  Two of my co-workers that I knew weren’t supposed to work the weekends were there.  I was covering for his screw up that happened over the weekend that had nothing to do with me.

            “How does 8 o’clock sound?”

            Awful . . .

            “What time do you need me to work until?”

            “You can work until 1.”

            “Fine.  I’ll be there.”

            “See you then.”

            I ended the call, skin crawling with a burning anger and body protesting the sudden change in plans.  I had it all worked out.  I intended to play catch up with my preparation for my book project, work on my blog post and read my writing reference books.  Now all those plans were trashed as I hastily dressed and mentally prepared myself for work. 

            Every time . . . It never fails . . .

            I greeted everyone as politely as possible and even managed not to growl at my boss and the customers.  I was not supposed to be there.  I was supposed to be home working hard on my book project.

            My shift ended, but it didn’t seem like it could have ended soon enough.  I tore off my apron and hat, clocked out and threw the detestable swatches of brown in my bag in a huff.  I collected my tips—the ones I should have collected over the weekend—and headed for the door.

            “Bye everyone.”

            “Bye, Malina.  Tomorrow, 7-3, right?”

            “Yeah . . .”

            A gunshot went off in my head and I decided that was a nice way to put an end to unnecessary stress from external forces . . .

-THE END-

           

Writer’s Corner

            How well do you know your characters? Do you often have trouble figuring out what your characters’ motivations and personality are?  I know I do, but I’m happy to share with you a nifty tidbit that I recently learned from reading Writing Fiction for Dummies.  First, to understand your characters’ motivations you should begin by defining their values, ambition and story goal.  Your characters’ values should be something that they believe to be true; something they strongly believe that defines who they are.  For example, your character could believe that money is an essential part of their lives and they don’t necessarily have to give a reason other than “Just because.”  This in itself gives you an idea of what this character is most concerned about and gives you some cues as to how they will behave in money related situations.  It might even give you a glimpse of their personality, though not always. 

Your characters can have multiple values that define their actions, behavior, thoughts, etc.  However, they should only have one ambition.  An ambition is an abstract thing or idea that your character longs for and wishes to fulfill by the end of your novel or story.  An example that WFD outlines is the typical “Miss America” response of world peace.  Ingermanson and Economy make it clear that world peace is an abstract idea that isn’t tangible, therefore it’s abstract.  Defining an ambition for your character is important because this defines what they hope to achieve over the course of your novel or story and is the driving force of their actions.  However, it’s important that your characters have values that match their ambition. 

This is also true for a story goal, which is the concrete action that your character will take to achieve their ambition.  Ingermanson and Economy suggest that a great story goal should be: objective (reader will know that your character has achieved their goal), simple (reader will know what successful completion of the goal will look like), important (reader will understand the importance of the goal), achievable (reader believes that the character has a chance of reaching their goal) and difficult (reader believes that there is a chance that the character may fail in their endeavors).  All of these characteristics make for what they define as a great story goal and give a reason for your character to continue on the path they have chosen.

            A character’s values, ambition and story goal should be interconnected and work together to create your character’s motivation for progressing through your novel.  For example, if one of your character’s values is the importance of being herself in a relationship with the one she loves then, perhaps her ambition can be her search for true love.  Notice how it is not easy to define or imagine what true love looks like; everyone will likely have different answers.  The story goal should then be how she plans to go about it: going out on “blind dates” until she finds “the one.”

            If you are having trouble with developing, your character’s values and ambition try interviewing them.  Sounds strange, right?  But actually it’s quite effective.  Not only does it help you to define the aforementioned things, it also gives you a chance to start writing in that character’s voice.  To do this, start with the main plot point (also known as your story goal) of your story and begin asking questions.  For example, Ingermanson and Economy illustrate the process by using J.R.R. Tolkien’s character Frodo.  They keep asking why until “[Frodo] throws up his hands and shouts, ‘Just because!’”  Since you’re the one doing the interview, you should stop when you cannot come up with a rational answer to the question you’ve asked.  Review what you come up with and nail down those values and that core ambition that will drive your story.

Best of luck my fellow writers!

Marlena

Useful Links

1.      Description: An example of a successful query letter plus the Agent’s comments on it. (http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/successful-queries-agent-jenny-bent-and-oh-my-gods?et_mid=521086&rid=232935610)

2.      Description: A guide to getting published. (http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/your-straight-forward-guide-to-publication?et_mid=519234&rid=232935610)

3.      Description: Six signs that you are getting closer to publication. (http://www.writersdigest.com/writing-articles/by-writing-goal/get-published-sell-my-work/6-signs-you%E2%80%99re-getting-closer-to-publication?et_mid=519234&rid=232935610)

Sunday's Post - 6/17/2012

Happy Father’s Day to all!

Reflection on My Progress as a Writer

            I must say that I have come a long way in these past few months and arrived at a place I thought I would never be in: fully prepared to write my first manuscript.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been here (or thought I was) before, however life circumstances always managed to push aside what I had desperately wanted to accomplish.  Now that I’m on my summer break and no longer working overtime, I’m fully devoted to working on my manuscript/first book project. 

            Prior to this resolution, I discovered the genre I wish to write for: Romantic Suspense/Thriller.  For all my incomplete book projects, I leapt in with the notion that I would finish the manuscript and everything else would fall into place, without realizing that I needed to know my audience, what genre I’m writing for and even what publisher I’m considering submitting it to.  This time around however, I’ve worked out the first two and intend to work on the latter towards the end of my outlining process.

            For this three month endeavor, I intend to use my previously defined creative paradigm or writing process: Snowflaking Outline with a Hint of Seat-Of Your Pants.  It is my goal to make an extensive outline, mapping out my characters and the setting, which I have deemed to be my weaknesses.  Along with that I will sketch out each of the scenes I intend to include in my novel, but exclude any explicit details; this is where the seat-of-the pants writing comes in.  I like to write my scenes this way just to see where it takes me, but at the same time have the definitive structure of my scene overview so I don’t veer off-track.

            Yet another thing I’ve learned as an aspiring writer is the importance of setting attainable goals.  By this I mean, goals that you can actually reach within the context of your writing habits and busy lifestyle.  As it stands now, I’m far from a professional writer’s level of being able to devote enormous amounts of time to their writing.  Quite frankly, I have far too much going on to able to devote 5+ hours to my book project.  So instead I created a plan that I believe I can follow with ease.  It requires that I devote an hour to my writing each day, which is really nothing, and set out to write 800 words a day.  That may not seem like a lot, but by the end of the six days I intend to write, I’ll have a total of 4,800 words.  And on the seventh day, I will edit the work I’ve completed so far.

            From making this plan I’ve realized that all the other writing plans I’ve made have been unrealistic when compared to the busy life I lead.  It was because I decided to time myself and see how many words I could type in 15 minutes that I was able to devise this new writing plan.  Because I tested this out, I now know that writing 800 words a day, 400 a half hour, 200 in 15 minutes are manageable and therefore I can achieve my daily and weekly goals with ease.  It’s all about knowing yourself and your limitations when it comes to devoting yourself to writing and I think I’ve started on the right track toward improving upon this skill.

            I look forward to the start of my project and hope to share my weekly success (or even failures) with you, my fellow writers.

~MEM~

Slight Change to the Schedule

Since I've found it quite difficult to make time to write both smaller pieces during the week and a longer piece, I've decided that I will just incorporate the longer pieces as regular pieces on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  Sunday then will be reserved for my own personal reflections as a writer.

Thanks as always for your support!

Marlena

Friday 6/15/2012

Words of the Day

1.      Obeisance – (n) Origin: 1325–75; Middle English obeisaunce ; Middle French obeissance, derivative of Old French obeissant, present participle of obeir to obey; a movement of the body expressing deep respect or deferential courtesy, as before a superior; a bow, curtsy, or other similar gesture; deference or homage.  (From Siren by Cheryl Sawyer)

Link: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Obeisance?s=t&ld=1029

2.      Languid – (n) Origin: 1590–1600; Latin – languidus: faint; lacking in vigor or vitality; slack or slow; lacking in spirit or interest; listless; indifferent; drooping or flagging from weakness or fatigue; faint. (From Siren by Cheryl Sawyer)

Link: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Languid?s=t&ld=1029

A Slice of Life

Inspiration: Just an embarrassing little tidbit from the vault of life, as inspired by a prompt from a creative writing text. Enjoy!

Breaking Dam

           A pressure, uncomfortable and aching, was building low in my gut.  My bladder was about to burst!  How could I have let this happen? The bathrooms were available at lunch, hell, even during my previous class, but I just had to forget.  Now I was dancing my way down the halls with a jerky uneven gait, which must have looked strange to those watching me pass.  Crossing your legs and trying to walk is an indescribable way to make your way to your destination.  All I could think of was getting to a seat, so I could temper the incessant ache with cool hard plastic that would stay the leaking dam of my disturbingly small bladder.

I stomp-hopped my way to English class, dancing from side to side as I waited—along with a few other classmates—for the teacher to arrive and open the classroom door.  I shimmied, stomped, and did the Irish jig, trying desperately to hold my water.  Speaking of water, there was a water fountain being used right up the hall.  I could hear the slurping gulps of the thirsty teen with supersonic ears that were not my own, making me think of the whooshing flush of bathroom toilets.  This of course led my mind to the silent relief of an empty bladder.  No! I almost let it slip.  Just a few more minutes and I would be in!

When the teacher finally opened the door, everyone filed in, struggling to all squeeze through the tiny red doorway.  Of course, when this didn’t work, everyone was forced to trudge into the classroom, single file.  How dreadful! And with me dancing like a jittery lunatic at the end of the classroom conga line.  Clearing the doorway, I nearly ran to my seat.  I wiggled myself in, putting as much pressure on my already aching bladder as I could, to strengthen the dam that was already breaking with each tick of the clock. 

The teacher began her lesson, but it wasn’t as if I could devote any of my attention—not even half my brain—to it.  You must understand, that trying to work, let alone think, with a full bladder, is the equivalent of working, or even thinking, while being completely engulfed in the all-consuming hunger of a ravenous beast.  Actually this is worst.  Hunger can be more or less ignored.  A full bladder cannot, because sooner or later it’s going to burst. 

All throughout the lesson, I kept eyeing the shiny red hall pass, perched neatly at the edge of the teacher’s desk, a tease to my tortured soul.  I needed that pass now, but I knew if I rose to get it, my dam would begin to falter and ultimately burst before I made it past the threshold of the classroom.  So I waited it out, and boy did I regret it! 

In the middle of a reading, when my mind drew away from my current crisis, my bladder decided that it had had enough.  It was through crossing its arms for me.  It needed to relieve itself and it needed to be relieved NOW! And so, like the simple flick of a switch, my sphincter relaxed, relieving my bladder of its awful burden; the mission had come to an end.  I was angry and more importantly mortified.  Angry because I felt my body had betrayed me.  Mortified because . . . Well let’s just take a guess at it . . . I HAD A PUDDLE THE SIZE OF CANADA FLOWING BENEATH MY DESK!

To further add to my embarrassment, someone noticed the puddle and pointed it out to the teacher.  She called the janitor, to my dismay, and a woman in clothes meant for dirty work and shoes beat down to the sole, came in with a string mop.  She smiled at me, and to this day, I never knew why.  Did she know what I had done and what she was mopping up with her damp mop? I don’t know and I’m sure I’ll never want to know.

And so the mess was cleaned and class went on as though nothing had happened.  Besides having my jeans sopping wet with warm urine, I was generally comfortable.  At the end of class, I simply wrapped my backside in a zipper sweatshirt, while I chatted up the teacher, threw on my oversized gym shirt, wiped off my seat and strolled into the halls like nothing ever happened. 

I got away with it, but just barely.  And so, with drenched, heavy jeans and a wounded pride, I vowed to never again ignore the needs of a full bladder.

Writer’s Corner

            What kind of writer are you? That’s to say, what’s your creative paradigm?  According to the authors of Writing Fiction for Dummies, a creative paradigm is your chosen method of writing or simply your writing process.  Randy and Peter list four ways that we as writers use to approach our works.  The first is seat-of-the pants which involves plowing through your work without extensive planning or editing; the latter is saved for the end, which amounts to quite a bit for work.  Next there’s the edit-as-you-go method which is similar to the seat-of-your-pants method because it allows you to write without planning, but you take time to edit your work frequently.  Then there’s the snowflake method, which calls for a loose outline that leaves room for creative changes as you go along. And the last is the outline method which entails the creation of a detailed plan before you actually write and adhering to it.

            I’ve found that I like a bit of structure when I write, but at the same time I like the freedom of writing blindly to see where my prose takes me.  I also like to take the time to edit my work at the end of the week to ensure its flowing properly and somewhat adheres to the loose outline I have created.  When reviewing this chapter in WFD and analyzing my own writing process, I felt I identified most with the snowflake method, but at the same time, noticed that I also make use of some of the other methods.  So if I wanted to give a name to my writing process, it would be: Snowflaking Outline with a Hint of Seat-of-Your-Pants.

            What’s your creative paradigm or chosen writing process and how does it work for you? Feel free to share your response in the comments down below.

Useful Links

1.      Description: A list of seven things that can doom your novel. (http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/7-things-that-will-doom-your-novel-how-to-avoid-them?et_mid=560336&rid=232935610)

2.      Description: Mistakes that all writers should make a conscious effort to avoid. (http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/5-story-mistakes-even-good-writers-make?et_mid=561665&rid=232935610)

3.      Description: Some tips on finding time to write, as opposed to making the time. (http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/there-are-no-rules/how-to-find-rather-than-make-writing-time)

Wednesday's Post (6/13/2012)

Words of the Day

1.      Repose – (n) Origin: 1425–75; late Middle English reposen  (v.) < Middle French reposer, Old French  < Late Latin repausāre,  equivalent to Latin re- re-  + Late Latin pausāre  to rest (derivative of Latin pausa pause);  the state of reposing or being at rest; rest; sleep; peace; tranquility; calm; dignified calmness, as of manner; composure; absence of movement, animation, etc. (From Siren by Cheryl Sawyer)

2.      Benighted – (adj) Origin: 1565–75; benight (be-  + night) + -ed²; intellectually or morally ignorant; unenlightened; overtaken by darkness or night. (From Siren by Cheryl Sawyer)

A Slice of Life

Inspiration: The concept of forbidden love.  As a forewarning, this story will be slightly more intense than most romantic scenes than I’ve written, but considering what I’ve written on Fanfiction.net, this may seem watered down in comparison. Enjoy!

Just a Number

            It was back again, that twinge she couldn’t seem to ignore whenever he was around.  It started low and slowly climbed until the uncomfortable heat nipped at her collar.  Her face was flushed she knew—it always was around him.  Annamarie licked her lips silently, stalking the object of her affection.

             Does he even know how much I yearn for his touch . . .? How often I dream of that body against my own?

            “Hey, David.  Need help finding something?”  Her insides twisted in anticipation of his affirmative answer.

            “That’d be nice.”  He flashed a dazzling smile that entranced her the first time—hell, every time then began to navigate through the aisles.

            “Be right over.” 

She turned to her reflection in the glass display and fluffed her dark, wavy, shoulder-length locks to fall against her tanned cheeks.  She batted her eyelashes twice, three-times and gave herself reflected self a wink.  She unhitched the latch that corralled her behind the convenience store counter and locked the front door.  They were the only ones in the store and if she wasn’t manning the register at the front then anyone could walk out with merchandise and she’d be none the wiser.  Of course, her mind needed a whole lot of convincing on that front.

Face it girl, you love the idea of being alone with him and locking that door that ensures that it remains that way.

Annamarie attempted in vain to sweep her thoughts to the side, but they kept resurfacing, taunting her with a painful truth; she’d planned this.  By midnight the store emptied out, leaving her with hours upon hours of staring at neatly arranged displays.  She locked the doors at this time so she could clean the store and handle back stock.  Every Thursday, though, she kept the door unlocked, especially for him.  He got off of work patrolling the local construction site and always stopped in to pick up dinner before heading home to sleep for the day.  It became the highlight of her week and she instantly fell for his charming smile and subtle jokes.

And now my original infatuation has turned into an intense yearning I can no longer ignore . . .

She found him in the back, head stuck in a freezer, surveying the TV dinner selection.  Her eyes traced the outline of his hips, thighs and calves stuffed into faded blue jeans before resting on his upper body dressed in a white tank. 

What I wouldn’t give to run my hands along those glossy muscles and . . .

“What should I go for tonight? Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and peas or Salisbury steak with rice and beans?”

David’s words startled her out of her dark fantasy and she stared blankly at his selection.

“Neither.  I’ll show you my favorite.” 

Annamarie joined him at the open freezer and had to squeeze past him to take a closer look.  She could feel his eyes on her without even looking; it unnerved her, excited her and intensified the flame of tension he always ignited with her.

“Let’s see . . . We should still have some in-stock.” 

After a minute more of searching, she came up empty and backed out of the freezer.  She let out a small sound of surprise when she reversed into David.  In that moment she felt every contour of his upper body pressed flush against her back.  It sent ripples of pleasure up and down her spine and she wanted to prolong the contact—for all eternity.  She drew away, reluctantly, breath held tight.  She wasn’t prepared for the spark she found gleaming in his intense gray eyes.  Something had changed; something critical, something that would take their relationship to the next level; it was something she wanted desperately.

“Let me go check in the back freezer.” She turned on her heel, a flush once again warming her face.

What the hell did I say that for? Now the moment’s gone! But who the hell am I kidding? Nothing was going to happen? Why would he be interested in a girl ten years younger than him?

The fury at her cowardice echoed in her heavy footfalls as she made her way to the back marked by an Employees Only sign at its door.  She pushed it open and went to the first freezer on her right, searching through its stock for the TV dinner.  When she found it she shut it soundly, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill.

What could he possibly see in a girl like me? I’m such a fool—damned fool.

Annamarie swiped at her watering eyes, trying to rid her face of any remnants of her meltdown. 

No use in looking like a blubbering fool in front of him.

She took in a deep breath and headed for the exit as prepared as she ever was to face him.  She wasn’t expecting him to be waiting for her at the doorway and ran right into his chest, sending the TV dinner skittering beneath one of the shelves.

“D-David . . .”

Before she could say more his lips were there against her own, fierce and unyielding.  Whatever she wanted to say fled her mind to be replaced by thoughts of how soft his lips were, how wonderful he tasted, how right this felt and how she never wanted it to end.  Something akin to a whine left her, swallowed by the plundering of his lips, brought on by his hand splayed warmly against her lower back.

Then just as suddenly as it began it was over.  The warmth that had consumed her in that moment left her, swept away by a cool wind of awkwardness that hadn’t existed before.

“David . . .”

“I . . . I’m sorry . . . That never should have happened.  I-I have to go.”

Annamarie watched his retreating form, wishing she had enough courage to make him stay.

To Be Continued . . .

Writer’s Corner

            Do you have a creative space, what authors of Writing Fiction for Dummies, Randy Ingermanson and Peter Economy defines as the place where you produce your written work?  This space should be clutter free, complete with a desk and chair with excellent back support and all resources related to your writing and research within easy access.  This includes dictionaries, file cabinets with your work-in-progress, a bookcase chock full of reference books to help you polish your prose to perfection and perhaps some motivation pieces to help you along your way. 

My own creative space (incomplete as stands) consists of a laptop desk, a foldable chair (soon to be replaced by a more comfortable one) and my writing wall.  Posted there, I have the contract I signed for my incomplete BIAM (book in a month) project as well as a statement declaring myself as a writer taken from Writing Fiction for Dummies, my BIAM goals and the Where I am as a Writer piece I posted as one of my earlier pieces on this blog.  Below that I have my BIAM calendar and my two motivation pieces: “Laurell K. Hamilton did it and so CAN YOU!” and “Keep at it and you will achieve your goal.  Giving up is no longer an option.”

            I hope in the near future, for my first real book project, to move my space down into my basement (the only quiet space in my household with little distraction) where I plan to produce my prose worthy of publishing.  It will be my first manuscript and I’m very excited to get started.

            What’s your creative space like? Is it similar to what I or the authors of WFD described?  How do you think having a proper creative space in your home affects your writing? Share your thoughts in the comments down below.

Useful Links

1.      Description: A how-to guide on submitting short stories.  (http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/how-to-submit-short-stories?et_mid=543522&rid=232935610)

2.      Description: Some creative ways to revive a dead manuscript.  (http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/how-to-resurrect-a-stalled-manuscript?et_mid=541174&rid=232935610)

3.      Description: How author Ashley Ream plans her life around her writing.  Her advice to all writers with overly busy lives. (http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/how-to-write-a-book-when-youre-really-really-busy?et_mid=548945&rid=232935610)