A Revelation

Hey all! How’s your writing coming along?  I’d like to say that mine is going pretty well, but yesterday turned out to be a huge let down.  After working 7-3 and going to get my hair done, then dinner at my boyfriend’s parent’s house, I was completely wiped.  And I had started my day colossally early—4:45 AM.  And so I slept when I came home with the intention of getting up to do more work.  I woke up, deliberated on what I should do and then chose to sleep some more.  When I finally decided enough was enough, I dragged myself out of bed at 4 this morning to try to make up for yesterday’s debacle.  And the result was almost as pitiful as my stinging, sleep-deprived eyes.  I managed to meet my 200 word count for one fifteen minute session, but I was none too pleased with the words I strung together on the page.  I packed it in, feeling angry with myself for not being able to follow-up Monday’s success with another.  I went to bed in shame, wishing I had pushed through.

Today at work, as I reflected on it, I realized I was expecting a lot from myself considering I had an early day and hadn’t had the chance to nap.  Often when I have bad days such as these, I shut down or hustle to make up for what I missed.  This of course causes undue stress on my part and leads to the burnouts I experience that fuel my unwillingness to write and perhaps even a bit of writer’s block meant to prevent myself from completely breaking down.  Knowing all this, I wanted to try something different, and that’s to simply LET IT GO . . .

You can’t even imagine how much of a battle it was for me to finally settle on that decision and I’m still not 100% happy with it.  I normally like to follow through with things, but at the same time I knew that taking the route I usually take to solve the problem would not help me in the long run.  I realize that it’s more lucrative to let it go and move on to the next day, than it is to dwell on the past and mull over what wasn’t accomplished the day before.  I should be focusing on my future writing, which won’t get done if I spend all of my time depressed and angry with myself.

So for all you writers out there that may be in the same situation as me, try to keep an open mind, give yourself some slack (not too much mind you or you run the risk of not writing at all) and keep your spirits high.  Motivation through accomplishment is what will propel you to the end and you need to keep in mind that every little bit helps, even the instances where you feel you’ve missed your goal.  And, of course, every word counts!

Best of luck my fellow writers!

Marlena